Why does it break my heart?
Whenever you and he are together
Never a distance apart
Under any condition or weather
Why does it hurt inside?
When you and he are holding hands
Walking any path side by side
And you stand wherever he stands
Why do I continuously bleed?
When I see you staring at his face
And every word in his lips you read
In your every thought, it’s him you can’t erase
Why do I always spare a glance?
When you embrace him with your arms
When under the stars, you and he dance
When you defend him when the enemy harms
Why did destiny choose his side?
And shines upon you two with great radiance
Pushing every single obstacle aside
Defying every possible circumstance
Why are you in a state of bliss?
When your love story proceeds as it was meant
With you, waiting for his warm, loving kiss
What wonderful gift has heaven sent
Why don’t you even care?
About everything as long as he’s with you
When you’re already happy with the love you share
How can you love him so true?
Why did you choose him over me?
What does he have that I don’t?
Why is it always him that you see?
What will he do that I won’t?
Why do I envy your love for that man?
And torture myself with the lingering jealousy
I have mistaken every move you have done
Considering every truth as fallacy
Why did I lose trust?
And filled my heart with doubt
My faith has reduced to dust
I never meant to cast you out
Why have I always seen the flaws?
And not the happy moments we possessed
Now I realize that it was all my loss
I failed to see that I am indeed blessed
Why did I lose everything?
And my story which I thought has begun
Has now amounted to nothing
I can no longer see the sun
Why must it end like this?
With hearts broken and strings cut
Everything for me now ceased to exist
What lies ahead, I know not
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Waiting for My Angel
Oh, angel, are you for real?
What is your purpose to be here?
I thought my heart was yours to steal
But now I came to realize what I fear
You came here for no one but him
He whose arms are embraced by your wings
He who is the man in your every dream
You can never be satisfied of the joy he brings
What a blessed man he is
To have an angel as perfect as you
The man whom you never fail to kiss
What could possibly separate you two?
How can an angel take notice of me?
A mere mortal who desires for a divine being
Why, I would do anything for thee
My soul is yours for the taking
Oh, angel, can you not see?
That I love you though it cannot be shown
Oh, angel, can you not be?
The angel I can call my very own
I know this is but a mere fantasy
Something that will never come true
Though fate is kind upon you and he
Still, in silence I will forever wait for you
What is your purpose to be here?
I thought my heart was yours to steal
But now I came to realize what I fear
You came here for no one but him
He whose arms are embraced by your wings
He who is the man in your every dream
You can never be satisfied of the joy he brings
What a blessed man he is
To have an angel as perfect as you
The man whom you never fail to kiss
What could possibly separate you two?
How can an angel take notice of me?
A mere mortal who desires for a divine being
Why, I would do anything for thee
My soul is yours for the taking
Oh, angel, can you not see?
That I love you though it cannot be shown
Oh, angel, can you not be?
The angel I can call my very own
I know this is but a mere fantasy
Something that will never come true
Though fate is kind upon you and he
Still, in silence I will forever wait for you
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Contrasting Yet Comparable
Individuality Test
Directions:
-Answer these questions as sincerely as possible.
-Strictly NO ERASURES. Any form of erasure will be considered null/void.
1. You and your special someone have known each other for years, and yet he/she still acts like you're a complete stranger to him/her. You think that he/she is probably:
a. waiting for you to make the first move.
b. not giving a damn about you at all.
c. busy revolving around the guy/girl of his/her dreams.
d. deeply in love with you but afraid to tell the truth.
2. When he/she is coming near, you:
a. quickly hide for cover.
b. immediately change your mood into a sad one and start putting up your act.
c. stare at him/her menacingly.
d. stay still, knowing it is you he/she is after.
3. When your eyes meet, you:
a. look in the opposite direction because you're shy.
b. look at him/her with teary eyes.
c. look at him/her with blazing eyes.
d. look and smile at him/her, knowing he/she would smile back.
4. To get her attention, you:
a. make literary pieces about him/her.
b. pretend to cry because it's a good tactic to attain sympathy. (More tears, more effective.)
c. ignore her. (Reverse psychology)
d. just stand there, knowing he/she alwyas has his/her attention on you.
5. When you talk to him/her, you:
a. notice your voice is stuttering and your knees are shaking tremendously while you talk about worthless topics.
b. change the tone of your voice into a sadder tone while you talk about how much you suffered and got hurt.
c. change the tone of your voice into an angrier tone while talking about all his/her mistakes.
d. pretend not to listen, knowing he/she will do everything just to make you listen.
6. When he/she cries, you:
a. take advantage and say comforting lies.
b. take advantage and cry with him/her, saying you feel the same.
c. laugh from the inside.
d. think you're the reason of his/her tears.
7. during prom nights, you:
a. wait in a corner, dreaming that he/she will approach you.
b. emote at a place where he/she can notice you.
c. curse the person that he/she is dancing with.
d. reject everyone asking you for a dance, knowing you are the most beautiful among the rest and everyone will beg at your feet for a simple dance. (The guy/girl you're dying for is not part of the rejection list, of course.)
8. If you he/she would offer you something he/she can give, what would you want?
a. his/her full attention
b. his/her shoulder you can cry on
c. his/her unswerving loyalty
d. nothing because you already have all of him/her
9. You love that person very much, but in order to hide the true intentions, you have to put up a different relationship title. You regard your love as:
a. just a friend (most of the time hidden behind a codename)
b. your best friend
c. your mortal enemy
d. your future boyfriend/girlfriend
10. After you tell the truth to the person you love, and it turns out he/she does not love you back, she will start to avoid you. (It's a constant. Regardless of the person, whoever saint he/she may be, it ALWAYS happens. Believe me.) With much thought and realization, you:
a. blame yourself for acting so foolishly and regret everything you have done.
b. cry in front of her.
c. use her mistakes against her.
d. act as if nothing happened, knowing it is his/her loss.
Score:
Mostly [a]:
You're a coward. Go into a corner, sit in a fetal position and suck your thumbs because you're hopeless.
Mostly [b]:
You're emo. Go over a railing or pretend to cry until a guy/girl approaches you. That usually works.
Mostly [c]:
You're a sore loser. Keep blaming the world for your loss.
Mostly [d]:
You're delusional. Go to hell and talk to the Devil himself, for you and he have the same level of pride.
Good Luck!
"In this world where everyone's the same and no one dares to stand out, would you try to make a difference?"
Directions:
-Answer these questions as sincerely as possible.
-Strictly NO ERASURES. Any form of erasure will be considered null/void.
1. You and your special someone have known each other for years, and yet he/she still acts like you're a complete stranger to him/her. You think that he/she is probably:
a. waiting for you to make the first move.
b. not giving a damn about you at all.
c. busy revolving around the guy/girl of his/her dreams.
d. deeply in love with you but afraid to tell the truth.
2. When he/she is coming near, you:
a. quickly hide for cover.
b. immediately change your mood into a sad one and start putting up your act.
c. stare at him/her menacingly.
d. stay still, knowing it is you he/she is after.
3. When your eyes meet, you:
a. look in the opposite direction because you're shy.
b. look at him/her with teary eyes.
c. look at him/her with blazing eyes.
d. look and smile at him/her, knowing he/she would smile back.
4. To get her attention, you:
a. make literary pieces about him/her.
b. pretend to cry because it's a good tactic to attain sympathy. (More tears, more effective.)
c. ignore her. (Reverse psychology)
d. just stand there, knowing he/she alwyas has his/her attention on you.
5. When you talk to him/her, you:
a. notice your voice is stuttering and your knees are shaking tremendously while you talk about worthless topics.
b. change the tone of your voice into a sadder tone while you talk about how much you suffered and got hurt.
c. change the tone of your voice into an angrier tone while talking about all his/her mistakes.
d. pretend not to listen, knowing he/she will do everything just to make you listen.
6. When he/she cries, you:
a. take advantage and say comforting lies.
b. take advantage and cry with him/her, saying you feel the same.
c. laugh from the inside.
d. think you're the reason of his/her tears.
7. during prom nights, you:
a. wait in a corner, dreaming that he/she will approach you.
b. emote at a place where he/she can notice you.
c. curse the person that he/she is dancing with.
d. reject everyone asking you for a dance, knowing you are the most beautiful among the rest and everyone will beg at your feet for a simple dance. (The guy/girl you're dying for is not part of the rejection list, of course.)
8. If you he/she would offer you something he/she can give, what would you want?
a. his/her full attention
b. his/her shoulder you can cry on
c. his/her unswerving loyalty
d. nothing because you already have all of him/her
9. You love that person very much, but in order to hide the true intentions, you have to put up a different relationship title. You regard your love as:
a. just a friend (most of the time hidden behind a codename)
b. your best friend
c. your mortal enemy
d. your future boyfriend/girlfriend
10. After you tell the truth to the person you love, and it turns out he/she does not love you back, she will start to avoid you. (It's a constant. Regardless of the person, whoever saint he/she may be, it ALWAYS happens. Believe me.) With much thought and realization, you:
a. blame yourself for acting so foolishly and regret everything you have done.
b. cry in front of her.
c. use her mistakes against her.
d. act as if nothing happened, knowing it is his/her loss.
Score:
Mostly [a]:
You're a coward. Go into a corner, sit in a fetal position and suck your thumbs because you're hopeless.
Mostly [b]:
You're emo. Go over a railing or pretend to cry until a guy/girl approaches you. That usually works.
Mostly [c]:
You're a sore loser. Keep blaming the world for your loss.
Mostly [d]:
You're delusional. Go to hell and talk to the Devil himself, for you and he have the same level of pride.
Good Luck!
"In this world where everyone's the same and no one dares to stand out, would you try to make a difference?"
Monday, September 24, 2007
False Remedy
Defective Habit 4: Think Win-Lose
See life as a vicious competition. Your classmate is out to get you, so you'd better get him or her first. Don't let anyone else succeed at anything because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you're going to lose, however, make sure you drag that sucker down with you.
-The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is winning? What is losing? How do you know if you're fighting over something already? How can you know you're better than somebody? When do you know if the battle is over? How do you tell if you already won? What do you do if you lose? What will you give up in order to win? Have you ever lost? Have you ever felt what it is like to have the upper hand? Well, I don't really have the anwers for these questions, but you may get something from the story for today. It is a story of a guy who blames everything for his loss.
Let us now look and ridicule his over exaggerated story.
He has always wondered why people tend to avoid people they reject. He has always wondered why she said everything will remain the same, but the opposite happened. It wasn't the 'rejection' part that hurt hurts him. It's the 'avoiding' part. He never wanted to be accepted. He just wanted to be treated like he exists. In his perspective, he's the loser.
He tried to get her attention, but she has never taken notice of him. She has always paid attention to the other guy, even if the other guy just stay quiet in a corner. Well, the other guy does have the upper hand. It wasn't the 'she-likes-him-more-than-me' part that hurts him. It's the 'not-noticing' part. He never wanted to be loved back. He just wanted her to care. In his perspective, he's the loser.
He has always been stupid. He has always compared himself with the other guy, and so he came up with this:
-------------------------------------
Him
-She always stares at him.
Me
-She can't look straight in my eye.
Him
-She tries hard just to get closer to him.
Me
-She avoids all forms of contact with me.
Him
-She always starts her conversation.
Me
-She doesn't talk to me at all.
Him
-She enjoys it when everyone is teasing them both.
Me
-She stops everyone when the jokes involve me and her.
Him
-He is the subject of her every sentence.
Me
-She doesn't talk about me.
Him
-She gets mad at his slightest mistake because every single thing he does matters to her.
Me
-She laughs at her every joke.
Him
-She pretends she doesn't hear any joke from me.
Him
-She tries to befriend his friends.
Me
-She doesn't care about my friends.
Him
-She lets him remain in her contact list.
Me
-She removes me in her contact list.
Him
-She composes literary pieces about him, both intimate and constructively criticizing.
Me
-She makes effortless one-liner negative criticisms about me.
Him
-She gets curious about all the things related to him.
Me
-She was never curious.
Him
-She calls him by his nickname or codename.
Me
-She calls me in any name that suits her comfort.
Him
-She asks senseless questions to get his attention.
Me
-She doesn't ask me anything at all because she never wanted my attention in the first place.
Him
-She fixes her hair whenever he's around.
Me
-She doesn't care when I'm around.
Him
-She looks at him whenever his name is mentioned.
Me
-She pretends as if my name wasn't mentioned at all.
Him
-She tries to move closer to his seat.
Me
-She tries to move far away from my seat.
Him
-She searches for his face in ever crowd.
Me
-She then hopes I'm NOT in the crowd.
Him
-She pretends not to care for him so he will take notice of her.
Me
-She doesn't care about me at all.
Him
-She gives hints about her feelings towards him, but never directly.
Me
-She has no hint to give because she has no feelings for me.
Him
-She goes wherever he goes.
Me
-She goes in the direction opposite mine.
Him
-She likes everything he likes.
Me
-She hates everything I like.
Him
-She says she gives up to make him realize his fault.
Me
-She has nothing to give up.
Him
-Her life revolves around him.
Me
-I'm not a part of her life.
-------------------------------------
Do you think what he did is right? You can't just observe and compare people like they're test subjects for an experiment. But I'm not saying that what he did is plain wrong. He has his side and she has hers. The girl probably wanted to hurt him honestly, and by doing she won't make a fool of him. The guy must probably be just too weak and unprepared for that.
Face it. You lost. That's the bitter truth of life. Sometimes we win, most of the time, we lose. One minute you're on top, the next time you'll realize that you're already down on the ground. What goes up has got to fall. Complaining about your defeat will get you nowhere.
Geez, what a sore loser. He can't even accept the truth like a man. Winning isn't everything. It's our losses that make us stronger. Just be yourself. There's always going to be someone better than you. You can never be the best, but do better anyways.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Now remember: When things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is."
-The Outlaw Josey Wales
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Whoever kills the most people wins the war. That doesn't sound like anyone ends up winning at all."
-The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey
Monday, September 3, 2007
River of Uncertainty
Once upon a time, in a distant kingdom, there lived a king. The king is troubled by the rumors spreading around his territory. Villagers speak of a mysterious river. They say that whoever with doubts in his heart crosses this river shall be swallowed by its raging current. There have been numerous accounts of death reported linking to the killer river. So the king was finally alarmed and he decided to act upon the issue.
The king summoned his elite knight. The knight is a living legend. He brought upon countless victories for the kingdom. He has slain the most ferocious foes. It is said that no man or beast alike can match his strength. So the king couldn't find anyone else suitable for the task of unraveling the secrets of the river of death. Despite all his greatness, the knight has one weakness - the princess.
The princess is a truly beautiful lady. One could say that she is an angel descended from heaven - no, she is comparable to a goddess. The princess, however, was already engaged to the prince of the neighboring kingdom. This engagement was done with the favor of both kingdoms. The prince and princess love each other. Rumors has it that they have been secretly seeing each other every night.
The knight voyaged on to the fabled river. He followed the stories of the folks at the village who said they witnessed the mystic river with their own eyes. He journeyed for days, but all he found were shallow rivers and calm streams. He grew tired and began to think that the flowing murderer is nothing but a made-up story to scare children. He decided to return to the kingdom and report back to the king.
As he traveled his way to the kingdom, he saw the moon shining brightly. Beneath the moon were two silhouettes. As he approached, he recognized that the faces were familiar. He saw the princess, embracing her beloved prince. The knight was blinded by rage. He drew his sword and lunged towards the prince. As, his sword neared the prince's heart, the knight fell into the abyss. He was swallowed by the water. What the knight failed to see was a river dividing the place where he stood and the place where the prince and princess stood. He was killed by the river cloaked in the shadow of the night sky.
The knight was slain by his own doubts, fear, rage, and regrets. This proves that even the mightiest of warriors die in the hands of such powerless adversaries.
The king summoned his elite knight. The knight is a living legend. He brought upon countless victories for the kingdom. He has slain the most ferocious foes. It is said that no man or beast alike can match his strength. So the king couldn't find anyone else suitable for the task of unraveling the secrets of the river of death. Despite all his greatness, the knight has one weakness - the princess.
The princess is a truly beautiful lady. One could say that she is an angel descended from heaven - no, she is comparable to a goddess. The princess, however, was already engaged to the prince of the neighboring kingdom. This engagement was done with the favor of both kingdoms. The prince and princess love each other. Rumors has it that they have been secretly seeing each other every night.
The knight voyaged on to the fabled river. He followed the stories of the folks at the village who said they witnessed the mystic river with their own eyes. He journeyed for days, but all he found were shallow rivers and calm streams. He grew tired and began to think that the flowing murderer is nothing but a made-up story to scare children. He decided to return to the kingdom and report back to the king.
As he traveled his way to the kingdom, he saw the moon shining brightly. Beneath the moon were two silhouettes. As he approached, he recognized that the faces were familiar. He saw the princess, embracing her beloved prince. The knight was blinded by rage. He drew his sword and lunged towards the prince. As, his sword neared the prince's heart, the knight fell into the abyss. He was swallowed by the water. What the knight failed to see was a river dividing the place where he stood and the place where the prince and princess stood. He was killed by the river cloaked in the shadow of the night sky.
The knight was slain by his own doubts, fear, rage, and regrets. This proves that even the mightiest of warriors die in the hands of such powerless adversaries.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Sound Amidst The Darkness
It was the usual day for me. Gray clouds covered the sky as the heavy rain poured upon me as if I was its sole target. I arrived at school dripping wet just to find what I always see every morning. She's talking to him again as she does every morning. I took my seat in the corner of the room to dry my clothes and wait for the assembly bell that would finally put a stop to their conversation.
I waited for the bell but I didn't hear a sound, except the sound of her laughter while talking to him. It must've been caused by some technical difficulty. And on top of that, our first period teacher was late. She would love that for sure.
I grew tired of what was happening, so I rose up and decided to go to the restroom where I can privately remind myself how much of a loser I have become. Just when I was about to leave the classroom, I heard a not so distant voice call out to me.
"Hey," that's how I heard it.
I turned around and to my surprise, I saw that it was her. I was glad at first, knowing that I will never get her attention unless I hang myself using her own hair while screaming "I love you!" so I approached her and asked what the matter was.
"Could you be my partner for the "A Thousand Words Painting Contest" tomorrow?" she asked me.
I was shocked. I was speechless and I could barely feel my knees at that moment. But I tried to act normal.
"Sure," I replied, trying to hide my anticipation.
"But I have a favor to ask," she continued.
"What is it?" I asked her.
"As I have heard, the prize for the winner will be a cruise around the world for two," she told me.
"Woah, isn't that too much for a mere painting contest?" I wondered.
"It's the biggest event for the Golden Anniversary our school is celebrating," she said.
"Oh, I see," I replied.
"Anyways, why me?" I continued.
"I heard you're the best when it comes to anything related to art," she said in a nice tone.
"Well, what's the favor you're asking for?" I asked her once again.
"If we win, I would like to sharethe prize with a friend. That is, if you're willing to give your ticket to me, of course. I hope you wouldn't mind. Knowing your family's status, I know you can afford another cruise any time you wish," she explained.
"Well, it's alright for me. But what's with all the future plans? We're not even sure we're gonna win yet," I teased her.
"Oh, I have full confidence in you," she said with a wink.
I was flattered by what she said. She made me smile. To my disappointment, our teacher suddenly came and asked the class to take their seats.
That was the happiest day of my life. I felt so alive during the whole day. And when we were about to be dismissed, I saw her waving me goodbye. She then walked along the way home with him as she does every afternoon. Usually, I get hurt everytime I see them together. But somehow, I felt a little hope this time.
I walked alone until I arrived home. I couldn't hide the excitement that I feel inside. I hurriedly went to my room and thought for a plan for the contest. I wanted the painting to be one of a kind because that event is very special for me. It took me several hours trying to figure out what I should paint but there still weren't any ideas popping out of my head. It was already late so I just decided to sleep so I could have the energy for tomorrow's big event.
The next morning, I woke up bursting with energy. I fixed myself and prepared to go to school. It was cloudy outside and I felt like it would rain later. But I was too excited to bother myself about the weather.
I came to school early. She was the first person I looked for. She was there and he was nowhere in sight. She approached me and we talked about the plan for the contest. We kept talknig until the bell rang and our teacher arrived. I felt so happy. Now I know how he feels everytime he talks to her.
We were called out to the place where the contest was supposed to be held. Everyone else seemed to be nervous but I wasn't. Maybe it was because she was beside me, holding my hand. At that exact moment, I realized what I should the subject of my painting should be. I will paint the girl of my dreams. I will paint her.
She told me that she has no talent in painting and explained to me that she might be of no help at all. But I didn't mind. I told her to just stay still for she will be the subject of my painting. She agreed and we started working. She stood still as I painted her. Her pose was very beautiful and her smile was angelic. That moment was perfect and I couldn't believe I had the chance to capture it using my own hands. A few hours passed. I have finally created the most wonderful creation I have ever done. My painting was almost as perfect as my subject. I named my painting "Angel of Silence" - a name perfect for a masterpiece I've put my heart and soul into. All that was left to pray for was to win the prize and make her happy.
After all the works of the contestants were shown to the judges, a decision was made right away. We won. I looked at her face and saw her beautiful smile once again. That made me happy as well. The tickets were handed to us. I gave her my ticket as I had promised.
I could hear the loud voices of our classmates as we returned to our classroom. Everybody welcomed us like celebrities. It took a while before we could sit down because everyone kept teasing us and kept throwing us questions. When the commotion was over, I finally had the chance to talk to her in private. I was about to say something to her when suddenly, he approached her.
"We can finally go together," she told him.
"What? I thought you'll go with a friend of yours?" I interfered
"Well he is my friend, isn't he?" she said sarcastically.
"I didn't tell you because I didn't think you'd care," she added.
"No. You knew I wouldn't accept your offer if you told me it was him you'll go with. You used me..." I said as I changed the tone of my voice.
"It's your fault. You're an idiot who thinks the world revolves around him," she said to me straight.
"Why can't you just be like him? He has everything you don't have," she continued.
"No, you just don't like me," I tried to assert myself.
"There you have it. You said it yourself. You knew it all along and yet you still think you can compare someone such as yourself to him? That proves you really are an idiot," she insulted.
I felt excruciating pain inside of me as she continues to degrade me.
"Sorry for not being him," I stuttered.
I ran out of the room as I said my final words. I wandered aimlessly outside, trying to reflect on what I had just done. My cheeks felt wet. I didn't know if I was crying or it was the rain. I didn't know where I was. I couldn't see anything clearly. All I can feel is the heavy rain pouring upon me as if I was its sole target.
As I walked along further, I saw a brilliant light glaring ahead of me. It came towards me at a great speed. As I hear the loud honk, I came to my senses and realized that I was about to be hit by a truck. I couldn't move my body and I didn't know if there was any point in doing so.
Everything suddenly turned black. I knew the truck hit me but I didn't feel any pain at all. I couldn't feel the rain but I could hear it crashing on the ground. I couldn't see anything in the dark but a clear image of her, smiling at me. The "Angel of Silence" faded away together with the sound of the crashing rain.
I waited for the bell but I didn't hear a sound, except the sound of her laughter while talking to him. It must've been caused by some technical difficulty. And on top of that, our first period teacher was late. She would love that for sure.
I grew tired of what was happening, so I rose up and decided to go to the restroom where I can privately remind myself how much of a loser I have become. Just when I was about to leave the classroom, I heard a not so distant voice call out to me.
"Hey," that's how I heard it.
I turned around and to my surprise, I saw that it was her. I was glad at first, knowing that I will never get her attention unless I hang myself using her own hair while screaming "I love you!" so I approached her and asked what the matter was.
"Could you be my partner for the "A Thousand Words Painting Contest" tomorrow?" she asked me.
I was shocked. I was speechless and I could barely feel my knees at that moment. But I tried to act normal.
"Sure," I replied, trying to hide my anticipation.
"But I have a favor to ask," she continued.
"What is it?" I asked her.
"As I have heard, the prize for the winner will be a cruise around the world for two," she told me.
"Woah, isn't that too much for a mere painting contest?" I wondered.
"It's the biggest event for the Golden Anniversary our school is celebrating," she said.
"Oh, I see," I replied.
"Anyways, why me?" I continued.
"I heard you're the best when it comes to anything related to art," she said in a nice tone.
"Well, what's the favor you're asking for?" I asked her once again.
"If we win, I would like to sharethe prize with a friend. That is, if you're willing to give your ticket to me, of course. I hope you wouldn't mind. Knowing your family's status, I know you can afford another cruise any time you wish," she explained.
"Well, it's alright for me. But what's with all the future plans? We're not even sure we're gonna win yet," I teased her.
"Oh, I have full confidence in you," she said with a wink.
I was flattered by what she said. She made me smile. To my disappointment, our teacher suddenly came and asked the class to take their seats.
That was the happiest day of my life. I felt so alive during the whole day. And when we were about to be dismissed, I saw her waving me goodbye. She then walked along the way home with him as she does every afternoon. Usually, I get hurt everytime I see them together. But somehow, I felt a little hope this time.
I walked alone until I arrived home. I couldn't hide the excitement that I feel inside. I hurriedly went to my room and thought for a plan for the contest. I wanted the painting to be one of a kind because that event is very special for me. It took me several hours trying to figure out what I should paint but there still weren't any ideas popping out of my head. It was already late so I just decided to sleep so I could have the energy for tomorrow's big event.
The next morning, I woke up bursting with energy. I fixed myself and prepared to go to school. It was cloudy outside and I felt like it would rain later. But I was too excited to bother myself about the weather.
I came to school early. She was the first person I looked for. She was there and he was nowhere in sight. She approached me and we talked about the plan for the contest. We kept talknig until the bell rang and our teacher arrived. I felt so happy. Now I know how he feels everytime he talks to her.
We were called out to the place where the contest was supposed to be held. Everyone else seemed to be nervous but I wasn't. Maybe it was because she was beside me, holding my hand. At that exact moment, I realized what I should the subject of my painting should be. I will paint the girl of my dreams. I will paint her.
She told me that she has no talent in painting and explained to me that she might be of no help at all. But I didn't mind. I told her to just stay still for she will be the subject of my painting. She agreed and we started working. She stood still as I painted her. Her pose was very beautiful and her smile was angelic. That moment was perfect and I couldn't believe I had the chance to capture it using my own hands. A few hours passed. I have finally created the most wonderful creation I have ever done. My painting was almost as perfect as my subject. I named my painting "Angel of Silence" - a name perfect for a masterpiece I've put my heart and soul into. All that was left to pray for was to win the prize and make her happy.
After all the works of the contestants were shown to the judges, a decision was made right away. We won. I looked at her face and saw her beautiful smile once again. That made me happy as well. The tickets were handed to us. I gave her my ticket as I had promised.
I could hear the loud voices of our classmates as we returned to our classroom. Everybody welcomed us like celebrities. It took a while before we could sit down because everyone kept teasing us and kept throwing us questions. When the commotion was over, I finally had the chance to talk to her in private. I was about to say something to her when suddenly, he approached her.
"We can finally go together," she told him.
"What? I thought you'll go with a friend of yours?" I interfered
"Well he is my friend, isn't he?" she said sarcastically.
"I didn't tell you because I didn't think you'd care," she added.
"No. You knew I wouldn't accept your offer if you told me it was him you'll go with. You used me..." I said as I changed the tone of my voice.
"It's your fault. You're an idiot who thinks the world revolves around him," she said to me straight.
"Why can't you just be like him? He has everything you don't have," she continued.
"No, you just don't like me," I tried to assert myself.
"There you have it. You said it yourself. You knew it all along and yet you still think you can compare someone such as yourself to him? That proves you really are an idiot," she insulted.
I felt excruciating pain inside of me as she continues to degrade me.
"Sorry for not being him," I stuttered.
I ran out of the room as I said my final words. I wandered aimlessly outside, trying to reflect on what I had just done. My cheeks felt wet. I didn't know if I was crying or it was the rain. I didn't know where I was. I couldn't see anything clearly. All I can feel is the heavy rain pouring upon me as if I was its sole target.
As I walked along further, I saw a brilliant light glaring ahead of me. It came towards me at a great speed. As I hear the loud honk, I came to my senses and realized that I was about to be hit by a truck. I couldn't move my body and I didn't know if there was any point in doing so.
Everything suddenly turned black. I knew the truck hit me but I didn't feel any pain at all. I couldn't feel the rain but I could hear it crashing on the ground. I couldn't see anything in the dark but a clear image of her, smiling at me. The "Angel of Silence" faded away together with the sound of the crashing rain.
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